This week, a memory from a few years ago popped up on my Facebook feed. It was a picture of a very swollen and painful ankle. You see, I had just been out for a run when my ankle gave out and I rolled it. I thought I’d share how this painful experience became a way that God showed me his incredible love.
I started running back in 2020, during the first lockdown here in the UK. It was a way to get out of the house and also a way to get fit. It took a while to get into the rhythm of running, but with the help of the Couch to 5k app, I got there. Running became a precious time for me to have some great conversations with God. I would be out on the road, listening to music, praying, and just treasuring that time with Him.
Fast forward two years, and I had entered the Bournemouth half marathon. I was in the middle of training when, whilst out on a run, I rolled my ankle. The pain was intense, and I knew I had done some serious damage.
I had to walk the mile back home, and to make matters worse, it started to rain heavily. I wasn’t in the best of moods. But, even in that moment, I knew this wasn’t God’s fault. A little voice inside me tried to whisper that a good God wouldn’t let this happen, but I knew that wasn’t true. I’m sure we’ve all heard similar voices of doubt in our moments of struggle.
When I got home, I took a look at my ankle. It had swollen to the size of a tennis ball.
Despite the pain and the setback, I wasn’t downhearted. I thought, “No, God is going to heal this, and I will run in that event.”
A week passed, with only six weeks to go until the half marathon. I tried a little run, but I shouldn’t have. So I rested some more. The next week, I repeated the same mistake and regretted it instantly. With only three weeks to go, I was still sure God was going to heal me.
With two weeks left, lying in bed one morning, I cried out to God. “Why haven’t you healed me? You know how much I love running, how much I love that time talking to you. Why haven’t I been healed? What have I done wrong? Do you not love me?” I’m sure we’ve all had moments where we’ve questioned God’s love and His plan.
And that’s when God showed me something incredible. He gave me a picture of a father holding an injured child in his arms, cuddling and consoling the child who was hurting, with such a ferocious look of love between the two.
Then He said to me, “This is me, and the child is you. Even though you may not be healed right this second, like a good father, I am here holding you, going through this pain with you, consoling you, and my love for you is like this.”
I rested in God’s arms for about 20 minutes, just letting Him heal my pain and anguish, not physically, but emotionally and spiritually. That day, I truly understood the depth of God’s love for me.
I found a new way to have my time with God after that. Now, three years on, I am back to running properly again and am looking to enter a half marathon in the new year.
What I learned through that incident and the long recovery process was how much I could lean on God. Every time I thought about running or my injury, I wasn’t filled with self-pity. Instead, I was glad for the reminder of how much God loves me and that He is always with me. If I had been healed instantly, it would have been great for me, but would I be able to share what a wonderful God He is, and how much closer this experience brought me to Him? This way, God was able to use me and my story to a much greater effect.
The story of my ankle is a reminder that sometimes, God’s healing isn’t about a physical miracle, but about a deeper, more intimate encounter with His love. This reminds me of a powerful scene from the series ‘The Chosen’, where Jesus explains to Little James why he has not been healed. It’s a beautiful illustration of how our struggles can have a purpose we may not understand at the time.
You can watch the clip here:
A Reflection for You
Perhaps you are in a season of waiting, praying for healing that hasn’t come. Maybe you’re feeling discouraged, wondering where God is in the midst of your pain. I want you to know that you are not alone. Your story is not over.
In those moments of doubt, remember the image of the father holding his child. God is holding you, weeping with you, and loving you with a fierce and unending love. He may not remove the thorn from your side, but He will sit with you in the pain and give you the strength to endure.
Your struggle is not a sign of God’s absence but an invitation to experience His presence in a new and profound way. Your story of faith in the midst of hardship can be a beacon of hope to others who are navigating their own dark valleys. Just as my injury became a testament to God’s love, your journey can be a powerful story of His faithfulness.
Don’t lose heart. Keep leaning on Him. He is a good Father, and His love for you is immeasurable. He sees you, He knows your pain, and He is with you, always.